I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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