do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
As shirtless as possible
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
