Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
