She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
