Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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