I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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