I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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