Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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