why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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