I want to have your abortion
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
