in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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