He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
