I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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