im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
