So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
