gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
