think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
