Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
