We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
