Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
my shit smells like andre
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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