I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
