If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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