i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It's rum buckets o'clock
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
