Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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