i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
