We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
