her vagina looked like bernie madoff
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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