If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I need a beard to bite.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
