her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
