Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
