It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We are all done wearing pants today
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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