But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
