My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
