I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
