just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
