I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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