just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
