Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
