Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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