The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
