i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
