I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize