I puked a lego.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
