So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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