I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
