I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
