so explain again why im purple
no
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize