just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I did not marry a roomba.
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