Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
