my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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