I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
