does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
