I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
