your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
