Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
