Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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