She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Jerry, you need to find god
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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