If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
