this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
