You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
