I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
