Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Quick, to the slutcave!
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
