'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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