We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize